For a long time now, my first response to almost anything that didn't happen the way I wanted it to was anger. I got angry out of frustration and sadness, but many times I just got plain angry.
When I was younger, it used to be a lot worse. I'd scream at people at the top of my lungs, I would slam doors, kick things, tear up posters and cards. It was really bad and I got into a lot of trouble for it.
Over the years, it's calmed down to where I get angry, but it's not as intense. Sometimes, I will have an episode where I just get so intensely angry I feel like I could explode and my throat is sore from screaming.
But it was suggested that I get prayed for and today I did. These two nice women prayed for me that I wouldn't be so quick to get angry and that when I did, it would be a righteous anger. When we were finished, the one woman gave me a Bible verse to look up when I got home-Zephaniah 3:17. This is what it says in the King James Version:
The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.
I proceeded to look this verse up in the NIV version and more easily translated, 'he will rest in his love' became 'he will quiet you in his love'. For me, what I think this is saying is that God will use his love to quiet my anger, so that I am no longer controlled by it.
Because I don't want to be controlled by it. I don't want to get angry all the time because I know it's not right, nor is it healthy. I want to be free from this emotion that people I know have been damned by. I will not let anger hinder my relationship with my future children like it did with my mother and I.
With God, it's possible. I just pray that he would make this change happen soon.
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