Saturday, June 26, 2010

Me Against the World

Today, my aunt, sister, and I were sitting, eating lunch and talking. My sister said she doesn't see why we've gone through everything we have in our lives, and I replied that it's because it made us who we are. My sister disagreed and said, "Who says I want to be this person?" "Well," I said, "what if our lives were different? What if our father wasn't who he is and we had lived our whole lives in Chicago in a home and gone to school? We might not have cared about school, we might have dropped out at sixteen."

I then went on to say how I believe everything in life ties in, something I'd been thinking of just a few days ago. "Like, God had you move here," I said to my aunt. "Then we moved here because you lived here and now we go to our high school because of that. And if we hadn't gone to GHS, I might not have become a choir teacher, because the choir program there is amazing."

However, I have not received much encouragement on wanting to become a teacher. I'm told that I need to get scholarships. Nobody really asks me where I'd like to go to college, what I'd like to do with my life, and why. If I talk about my wanting to teach, I don't get much of a response. What is so wrong with doing something I love and am good at?

I seriously feel like crying sometimes. I wish I had someone to say, "You'd make a great choir teacher, Elizabeth. I know how much you love music." I do have one person who encourages me and will, I believe, no matter what I choose to do (as long as it's right, that is). She loves music as much as I do, so I've got someone who understands me and I know she knows how it feels not to be understood. Musicians often aren't, anyway. I just wish that encouragement came from more than one source. But non-artistic people have a hard time understanding artistic people, and I get that. It's just so frustrating.

I've always wanted to marry a chef, but I think I need to marry someone musically inclined, like me. That way, we'll always have each other.

After all, what's wrong with music?

No comments:

Post a Comment